


unorthodox training methods

by peradi



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal Sex, Choke Sex, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Oral Sex, finn is good and pure, finn is surprisingly kinky, kylo ren is crying real tears somewhere, poe dameron pines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:20:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5794957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peradi/pseuds/peradi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Anakin, that is not how to mentor someone. Anakin <i>stop</i>."</p><p>Anakin picks a new Chosen One, because he's sick of his grandson's dramatics. Everyone suffers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	unorthodox training methods

**Author's Note:**

> utter crack. sequel to 'where the twin suns set' but you don't need to read that to understand this.

“Anakin,” Obi Wan says. “What are you _doing_.”

“Helping!” Anakin chirrups. “Doing exactly what I’m meant to -- finding those who have a great destiny, and guiding them along the right path.”

“You are _meant_ to be guiding your grandson back onto the Light Side of the Force not…” Obi Wan lifts his hands in despair. “Not _having sex_. You are _dead_.”

“Yes. I’m dead. I’m not _blind_. Besides, the Stormtrooper is important -- the Force has degreed it so.” Anakin’s head quirks on one side. “Well, to be fair, _I_ am part of the Force...so if I decree that he’s got a part in Destiny then he does.”

“You cannot pick out Chosen Ones based entirely on who you want to take to your bed. You cannot _take Chosen Ones to your bed_.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is _uncivilised_. You are meant to be on the path to Redemption.”

“Who says I’m not?”

“He has no Force ability!”

“And? No offence Master, but all the Chosen Ones who are strong with the Force have fucked up _royally_. Finn is...different. His path is his own. He chose it.”

“He is in love with your granddaughter!”

“He has sterling taste. Skywalkers are irresistible.”

“You are old enough to be his _grandfather_.”

“I’m also dead, which doesn’t seem to bother him. The age difference seems inconsequential next to that.”

“I thought that death would make you _less_ of a pain in my arse.”

“It won’t be the first time that you are wrong Master. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to go and speak to my Chosen One.”

“At least pretend to train him!” Obi Wan shouts after him. Anakin’s laughter rings sharp and clear in the ether.

 

\--

 

Rey learns to meditate over the course of three weeks, her long legs folded, her spine iron-straight, focusing on her centre, on the swell and song of the Force around and within her. Her Master holds her mind in his, tender and careful, guiding her through the necessary steps to find inner peace, the murmur of the ocean all around them.

Finn on the other hand --

"Do I have to be on your lap?"

"Definitely."

"And why am I naked?"

"It's your dream."

"Fair point. But why are you naked?"

"It's hot."

"It's night-time in the desert. And you're a ghost."

"Shut up. Now, I want you to close your eyes and just let me in --"

"This  _isn't helping_."

"You need to focus on your centre, on your  _hot tight_ little centre --" 

"Oh  _gods._ "

" _Fuck_ that's good -- it has been  _years_ \-- now, Padawan, look ahead, focus on --  _oh yes --  "_

 _Meditation_ , Finn thinks,  _is more fun than I thought it would be_.

At least, it's fun until Yellow Eyes remembers his promise to choke Finn as he comes. Using the Force. 

Then it's  _awesome._

 

_\--_

 

“Anakin that is _not what I meant_.”

“I’m teaching him to focus despite great distraction! It’s an integral part of being a good Jedi. Why -- were you watching?” For an incorporeal being, Anakin can smirk with the best of them, translucent arms folded over his chest, chin tipped up.

“ _N_ _o --_ but you do realise that we are part of the Force -- thus, when you get laid _every one of us knows about it._ We feel your _emotions_ Ani. Please stop misusing your powers and return to your actual mission. Bring Ben Solo back to the side of Light. Rid the galaxy of your poisonous legacy --"

"He won't listen to me," Anakin snaps. "He won't listen to me, and even if I did manage to appear to him he would twist every word I said until it fitted his own agenda. You, Han, Padme -- you all act like he's this misguided child who will go running back to the side of good as soon as he realises that Grand-daddy wasn't as much of an arse as he thought. You're all wrong. He chose the Dark Side; he embraced it; and the only redemption he's ever going to find is if he chooses to do so himself. It's about  _choice_ , Obi-Wan. It's all about choice."

Obi-Wan has no response to that. The two Jedi stand in silence before Anakin ventures, "If you can all feel me when I have sex...does that include Yoda?"

“ _Especially_ Yoda.”

_“ _Fuck_.”_

 

\--

 

"What does it mean when you have sex dreams about the same guy every night?" Finn says.

"Well, it could be that you really like him," says Jessika, "and you don't want to admit it to yourself."

"What if it's someone I don't know? Someone kind of, uh, made up?"

"Then maybe," says Jessika, her smile sharp and knowing, "it's your brain disguising who you really like -- hiding them in the guise of someone else. What does he look like -- this mystery guy?"

"Uh. Dark hair. Strange eyes. Stubble," Finn says absently, fixing himself a cup of caf: bantha-milk and enough sugar that it starts to congeal on the sides.

"Huh," says Jessika. "Dark hair, dark stubble -- is he a pilot?"

"I did dream that we had sex in the Falcon. He was very good at flying."

"Well. There we go."

With this cryptic answer, she saunters out of the mess hall, pausing to whisper in Snap’s ear as she passes.   

 

\--

 

"You're a really strange dream."

Finn's dreaming. He thinks he's dreaming. He's slumped in post-coital exhaustion against Yellow Eyes's sweat-damp flank, the sand silver and soft beneath him, the sky pearlescent white above: it's that unreal hour just before dawn, where the light is thin and sharp. 

"M'not a dream. I'm a Force Ghost, sent to guide you on your journey," says the other man, toying absently with Finn's hair. "I'm here to sort out your Destiny," he adds, nipping at Finn's earlobe. 

"You said that you made up a Destiny for me because you wanted to continue to fuck me."

"Well. Yes. I want a different mission. My original one sucked bantha-dick. This is much more fun."

"What was the original mission?" 

"I had to sort out someone who is too much like me to be healthy." There's a shadow of something dark and unnameable in Yellow Eyes's voice. Finn knows not to pry. He knows what it is to have secrets.

"What's your name?"

"Call me Ani. Everyone used to."

"Cool. Nice to meet you."

"Enough bonding," coos Ani, _reaching_ down, his palm skimming Finn's abs. "Roll onto your stomach,"

Finn obliges. Ani spits on his palm, nudges one finger inside him. It's hot and dry and just on the good side of pain and he  _mewls_ at the touch. 

"Is this an important part of my Destiny?"

"Oh yes," says Ani. "Definitely. You need to learn to balance the good and the bad, blah blah blah."

He shoves in. Finn keens, high and sharp and hungry, and Ani bites his nape, thrusting deeper. Every stroke of his cock nails Finn's prostate and he sees  _stars_ and comes with Ani's hand curled loose around his cock, offering the barest scrape of friction. 

"You're the balance point," Ani purrs in his ear, his voice a dark and hungry thrum. "There's Dark and Light, Good and Bad, and there's you who could have been one but chose the other. You chose. Don't you see how important that makes you?" He's got Finn's hips in a tight clutch, and his breath is spilling ragged and hot over Finn's back. His teeth sink into a shoulderblade, and Finn whines, pain and pleasure so tangled up that he can't tell one from the other. He's overstimulated and shaking, thighs aquiver, and Ani picks up the pace, fucking him into the sand. "You are choice; you made the choice; and _that's_ why you're important."

"That," Finn gasps, somehow managing words, "and I've got a great arse."

"That too," Ani says, and comes. 

 

\--

 

"What if I told you I was being haunted?" Finn says to General Organa.

"I would say that you need to speak to a MedDroid about your experiences. It is very --"

"No, no, no. I'm not haunted as in  _haunted by my experiences_ ; I mean I'm literally haunted."

Leia blinks. She's looking at him exactly how she feared he would: with pity. 

"Never mind," he says. "It's nothing."

"Finn --" she says, but he's already vanished into the hubbub of base. 

 

\--

 

"Oh  _fuck_."

There's a staff in his hands. 

Ani is holding a lightsabre. Six foot of crackling green death. 

"Let's  _dance_ pretty-boy," he coos. 

They dance. Finn has his arse roundly kicked, and it's a relief when Ani tosses aside the sabre, grabbing at Finn with the Force, tugging his robes off, leaving burning fingerprints on his throat. 

Ani sprawls back in the sand, pulling Finn over him with invisible hands. His actual hands are pillowed behind his head, and a smile cuts sharp across his face. "Time for another workout then, soldier," he says.

Finn groans. "You're so _cheesy_."

"You love it."

The Force deposits Finn on top of him. He reaches out with eager hands and kisses Ani, hot and wet, slick side of tongues and clatter of teeth. He presses himself down, feeling the hard edge of Ani's erection through his leathers -- really, who wears leathers on a desert planet? Even if it is a Force dream vision _thing_ \-- and  _grinds_. Ani's breath catches.

"Oh  _Padawan_ ," he grins, "my young Padawan, you are  _delicious_ \--" and he wriggles his trousers down, frees his cock, glides his hand up and down it. 

"Everyone thinks I'm mad," Finn says mournfully. "I told Jessika Pava about it, and now everyone giggles when I walk past, and Poe's getting really strange around me."

"I don't care," Ani says. "They don't matter. They're inconsequential."

"They're my friends," Finn huffs, glowering down. Ani reaches up, rubs his lower lip with the pad of one thumb. 

"Sorry, Padawan."

"I tried to talk to General Organa, but she thinks I'm just traumatized."

Ani's face softens. "She's a good leader. A good woman. I'm very proud of her. Can you tell her that for me?"

"Uh. Sure? But will she know who you are?"

"Tell her..." and Ani's voice snags and Finn rolls off him, curling against his side. "Tell her that she's better than her father ever was. And tell her that I love her very much."

"It would help," Finn says, gently, "if I knew who to say the message was from."

"Work it out, Stormtrooper," says Ani, pressing a feather-light kiss to the corner of his mouth. "And wake up."

 

\--

 

Finn wakes to shrill, happy beeping. BB-8 and Poe have burst into his room, and both are jabbering away at once, and he's too tired to discern what exactly is being said until --

"Rey's back!"

\-- and then everything is movement and joy, and the remnants of his dream topple from his thoughts. 

 

\--

 

That day is spent in a happy blur of activity. Rey's brought Actual Living Legend Luke Skywalker back with her, and he and General Organa vanish to discuss important Force things, and he introduces Rey and Poe, and BB-8 goes half-mad with rapture, spinning between them. Rey tells them about her Jedi training, about meditation and fighting styles, and how they're going to drag down the First Order, and it's when she mentions  _Luke helped me find my_ _centre_ that things get awkward. 

She says  _centre_ , her lips popping over the word, and Finn thinks of Ani, of rocking in his lap, of heated words and hands in his hair, of truly unorthodox training methods -- and he flushes.

Rey stutters. Her excited hands still. Her eyebrows shoot up towards her hairline and he remembers -- far too late -- that Jedi can _read minds_.

 _Fuck_.

 

\--

 

"Teach me to shield my mind," he says that night. He's on his knees, lips spit-wet.

"Suck me off first," Ani whines, and Finn smiles sharkish and cruel.

"Nah. You teach me, then I'll let you come on my face."

"You evil, evil man," says Ani, but he doesn't sound pissed -- he sounds _proud._

 

\--

 

The next day, Finn screws his courage to the sticking point and goes out to the clearing where Luke and Rey spend their mornings training. General Organa is there as well, her legs crossed primly, her face the picture of concentration. Everything is so very calm; he feels dreadful for violating the sanctity; but he has a message to deliver. 

He also has bruises on his throat. He's really hoping they don't ask where he got them from. 

"Uh," he says. "I'm being haunted. Literally haunted. I have dreams about a Force ghost who calls himself Ani and doesn't understand personal space and I don't know who he is, but he says to say to you that you are both very good people, that you're kind and good and he's very very proud of you. And that you're better than your father, and I don't know who your father is but yeah." His voice trails off. He fidgets. 

Luke's gaze is like a laser, cutting deep into him. 

Finn thinks of Ani's initial attempts to teach him to him how to shield his mind. 

They hadn't gone so well.

As the bruises will attest, they got distracted. 

And that's what Finn thinks of as Luke skims his thoughts -- Ani's hand on his neck, Ani's cock in his arse, Ani's breath fever-hot on his cheek, breathing  _you are mine Stormtrooper, I chose you and you are mine --_ and Luke's face just freezes in an expression of outright  _disgust_. 

 

\--

 

"Oh  _fuck_ ," says Finn, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know -- I didn't know -- oh  _Force_ ," and General Organa puts a gentle hand on his shoulder and smiles her all-knowing smile. 

"I have to admit," she says, "that it could be a lot worse. At least I do not possess my brother's talent for reading thoughts."

"He  _choked you_ ," squalls Luke. The Last of the Jedi is not retaining his fabled dignity.

Rey titters. "Is he cute?"

Luke groans. "Rey. we need to  _talk_."

 

\--

 

 

"You should offer your son guidance in this difficult time," says Obi-Wan.

"It's his own fault," Anakin says. "He shouldn't have read Finn's mind. And now..." Anakin shudders at the thought. "Now, he knows what my cock looks like."

"I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone."

"Oi!"

"Do you intend to continue mentoring the boy?"

"Well, Luke says that he's going to start training Finn alongside Rey. He says that Finn doesn't have much Force potential, but he has some -- and though he'll never be a Jedi, it is important that he understands how the Force works."

"He has no need for your guidance then," Obi-Wan prompts, sounding a little gleeful. 

Anakin shows his teeth. "He needs me for  _some things."_

A pause. Then, "I mean I'm still shagging him."

"Yes I  _gathered that_."

"That pilot is mad for him. He'll work that out soon enough, and then they can be lovely little love-bunnies together."

"Yoda has fifty credits riding on them working it out by the end of the decade. Are you going to tell him?"

"Hell no. The longer it takes them to work out their issues, the longer I get to shag Finn. I'm not telling him shit."

"You are not quite on the side of the Light, are you?"

"What gave you the idea that I ever was? I'm not exactly a nice person."

"Good point."

 

\--

 

And so they all live -- and don't live -- sort-of happily ever after. Eventually, Finn will notice that Poe actually reciprocates those feelings he never speaks of and they will settle down in annoyingly cutesy bliss. Eventually, Anakin will attain some measure of peace. Eventually, the Force will swing back into balance. 

But, for the time being, Finn's on his back, his legs haloing Anakin's waist, mewling as Anakin plunges in deep and hard and  _perfect_.

He thinks he hears footsteps, a gasp, then the sound of someone running, feet clattering on metal. 

"Who was that?"

"No one," Anakin says, kissing him, tilting his arse up and fucking him open with brutal snaps of his hips. "No one at all."

 

\--

 

Kylo Ren's eyes snap open. 

"Lord Vader  _wouldn't,"_ he whispers. 

Surely it was just a bad dream. 


End file.
